Saturday, December 10, 2011

Love, oh my love!

They say all is fair in love and war but they can never justify how deep a pain it is to have your love within reach and yet be so far away. I am telling her this year. Today, I will. It has been three years since that day I fell in love with her – a day when until that moment my only reason for jubilation had been the fact that the new balcony was wide enough to throw a party and I had been able to find a cozy spot to enjoy the view and festivities from.

One look at her was enough to take my breath away and with a whoosh of the bullying evening breeze I almost came close to losing my lifelights! That’s how beautiful she was. I couldn’t take my eyes off her for the rest of the time I was out there on my balcony, while she was at her's across the road, keeping to herself. It was something that amazed me. I’d always thought girls liked to gang up but she was an enigma.

The glow about her was more golden than the early morning sun, something I haven’t personally experienced because I am mostly a nocturnal guy. My work keeps me up late and I crash still later, but I’ve heard enough to appreciate the beauty of that phenomenon. What attracted me to her was probably the insanely talented way that she carried herself. She was a statement of resolve and strength!

Me? I am just a silly romantic that can't even handle a cold wind! I wanted to reach out to her and make contact but I get to spend very little time out on the balcony when I do and most of it goes into holding my ground and trying to talk myself out of all the nervousness she generates in me. The remaining, I spend just staring at her and sighing. She makes my heart flicker on the brink of existence.

I had my mind made up this year. I prayed very hard to be able to hog the same spot that gave me a clear shot at getting her attention. I hadn’t quite planned on what I would do exactly.


It is time. Here I am at my post; one lucky bastard. And there she is, looking impeccably breathtaking like always. There comes the panic. Breathe…in and out… I need the energy. I cant afford to waste it.

A million ‘What if’ questions run through my mind. Time is ebbing away and so is my strength. I’ve got to take a shot before it is too late….what?....what’s happening? No…….no…you cant take me away now! Has it been that long already? I still have some time left…no. I have to tell her….she has to know. Hey! Dang it! She‘s not looking at me. Move it…move it…let me atleast get to the rim of the………


The little girl picked up the rest of the tiny earthen lamps off the parapet in the balcony and added them to the plate she was carrying. It had been yet another bright and beautiful festival of lights.

One lamp on her plate was  still glowing feebly, a few drops of oil stagnant inside. Next year buddy, she thought to herself as she tugged at the wick and doused the flame. The glare from a bright electric lamp on the opposite balcony cast a dark shadow as she walked inside.

(This article made it to the December 14th issue of The Hindu, Nxg :  :)