Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Something to think about

       A friend of mine wrote an article recently. I was impressed with the thoughts he had expressed and was making a mental note of the complements I was going to give him when I stumbled upon a line that was a dig at nice women. He claimed they were non-existent. And I couldn't help but wonder for the millionth time why men almost always do that; insert snide comments about women and expect it to go unnoticed. 

I asked him about it and he claimed it was a joke. Exactly like dozens of guys before him have done. If that context were a joke it should've appeared even in the previous lines where the idea expressed was about men. And for this reasonable question of mine I would probably be termed 'overreactive' in his next article!

What is the problem with men? Why do they have this compulsion to mock at women in everything they do? Why is it hard for them to accept two things? - One, women are just as human as they are and two, men are in every way only as perfect as women are.

Why does every post, every article, every tv show, every comment have to have a thought that takes a dig at girls and be claimed funny? The best irony here is that guys get worked up when you tell them 'cricket sucks' or 'football is lame' but a girl is not supposed to speak out when a guy says something that is unfair to her and she is termed a sissy and lacking a funny bone!

I never take to these things easily because this is not a joke. As a woman I have the right to be respected for who I am. Just like guys expect respect inspite of the hundred and one faults they would have if a girl's way of life is the rulebook to society. There lies the problem. And in this man's world I have to be a 'man-hater' or a 'feminist' to voice my disapproval to something a guy said! All that I am, is a woman. And that is the only status I need. Nobody calls a man a 'female-basher' or 'saviour of mankind' when he says something's wrong with women. When a guy teases a girl he is dismissed as 'he's just being a guy' but when a girl says it makes her feel bad nobody goes 'ah she's just asserting herself'!

I recall a dialogue from the tamil movie 'Anniyan' when I think of this 'overreaction' tag. The hero asks one of the wrong-doers - "is it wrong if you steal 5paise?" and the latter replies no. The dialogue proceeds with a build up that goes on to prove that 5paise being stolen 5 million times by 5 people indeed amounts to swindling. The same goes here. Every comment is a 5paise. And everytime its made nobody makes an issue until it grows and blows up in their faces in a relationship.

I am not a man-hater. I do have wonderful friends who respect women. Every guy and girl do have prejudices against the opposite sex. But the expression of it does come to be a problem. Why is it hard to appreciate the good of the opposite gender and accept and respect each other for what we are? Why dress it up in jokes and phrases? Nobody is perfect. Be it a man or a woman. But it is the imperfection that makes life interesting doesn't it?

I've stood up for the girl that I am all my life. And that means I fight with guys who have no respect for women, I argue in debates about it, I write about it and I comment on my friends' posts that bear any signs of being male-chauvinistic. No wonder I am percieved to be a demon of sorts out to get anyone who crosses my path. If you think so too then that's as far as you get. Because it is the same me that stands by my guy friends when they need me, who has had endless conversations with broken guy hearts, who does have a sense of humour, who is not a feminist and by that I mean I don't think girls are the daughters of Mr and Mrs Perfect and who has been able, to be a good friend to them for years. 

My friends love to tease me that I will not land a man, with this 'audaciousness' of mine. I don't deny it. Not every guy can accept a girl who is bold enough to stand up and voice herself. I cannot accept a guy who does not accept me for who I am. Girls are not objects of fun. They do have a heart that can feel. If you really want to win over a girl try giving her the respect she deserves because she will anyway give you the love you deserve...and if at all I do land a man you can be sure he has passed the acid test! :)

P.S 1: if all this ranting doesn't work to make my point this wit would : 'what's common between dinosaurs and good guys...alas! they are both extinct!' maybe girls should start inserting such stuff into what they write...

P.S 2: just because I wrote a whole article inspired by a comment of this friend of mine doesn't mean he is on my loath list. he happens to be a wonderful person and a very thoughtful friend still.

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