Monday, May 25, 2009

Mills and Bane???

         I created a record of sorts last month. I listened to a whopping number of my friends narrate stories of their love. Some of the lucky ones told me confident happily-ever-after stories, some told me they have entered into a commitment hoping for theirs and quite a few not so lucky ones told me the person they chose did not choose them in return.

        I felt very happy and thrilled for my buddies who had found success in love – a lot of them were the oh-I’m-not-the-falling-in-love type ;). Love is by far the 2nd most beautiful feeling in the world ( I rate a mother bearing a child 1st) . The way someone who is not your blood understands you and accepts you for what you are, can leave you feeling amazed in only two kinds of bonds – friendship and love!

        All those moments of feeling special, holding hands, stealing a quick glance, the shy smiles, and the whole new shades of brightness that show up on faces lighting up the eyes…a treat to watch in anyone smitten!

        Flip 180° and I could see the brave faces that my love-slain friends were trying to put up. All those things that I mentioned for love were running through their minds too but instead of making them smile it made them cry as they crumbled under the pain of memories they carried. True. Love hurts like nothing else on earth when lost. Very true.

         They say love is blind and I agree – blind enough for people to fall for someone who is not the right match and blind still to fall out with some one who is a potential soul mate!

          As much as falling out with a person hurts, it is not the end of the world. I was thinking of this as I lent a shoulder to the troubled souls to cry on. A million questions were running through my head. My friends are genuine and gentle people. Fun to be with and ready to do anything to get a buddy out of trouble. Then how did they fail in the game of love? How could someone not see the sincerity behind their feelings? Or did they miscalculate the feeling and maybe it was just Cupid’s 3rd generation cousin getting some arrow practice? What about me? I too am one of those stay-away-from-love types. Will I crash and burn too?

          As I got thinking about it I remembered Morgan Freeman in the movie Evan Almighty. He says “when you ask God for something He does not give it to you wrapped in a parcel. He gives you opportunities to get what you want”. And that struck me as true. Especially with relationships. Maybe that’s what all this is about. This isn't something to be counted as a loss. It is to show how much love someone is capable of…to show that a person isn’t afraid of commitment. To make them appreciate themselves so that when true love comes along they could grab it with an open heart!

          Loving someone is not about turning into a villain or a bearded-bard if they don’t love you back. It’s about feeling happy for them and caring for them exactly the way you did before you knew how they felt, because love is not something to be conquered or to fret about if lost. It is to give and give unconditionally! And those of you who have decided to breakup…do it gently…everyone deserves respect and love…more so the person who chose to love you!

          For those buddies of mine who lost an early wicket in love, cry as much you want to, for the times you believe to be lost…but when you are done, feel happy for those precious moments that you bagged with your loved one…as much in the past they may be…they are still yours to keep…make new memories with your life…my suggestion – don’t be afraid to fall in love...but don’t be scared if you fall out either!

          As for me I hope I don’t have to endure Cupid’s cousin and wish that the master marksman would find my knight in shining armour for me…but even if have to I would know that its not the end…I get to love someone and I would do that no matter what! At least they can be sure of one person’s love always! 

       There are two thoughts I’d like to quote…one from the tamil movie 'Sillunu oru kaadhal' where Bhoomika says “if you love something and find that some one else could take better care of it, how could you not let it go?” and an anonymous reflection “if you love someone and they don’t reciprocate, wait for it grow in their heart...if it doesn’t be content that it grew in yours”!

         As hard as it may seem to accept these matters of the heart, they are true, right and special. To all those in love, wish you all the luck in the world…and to all those with a huge sigh…hang in there fellas! Cupid’s hitting town any moment now! Cheers! 

(This article also appears here :